Best. Kids. Ever.

Ok it's been a few days since the kids and I flew here to my parent's place and I gotta say life is pretty good. DD is going through a bit of an adjustment period because it takes her awhile to adapt to change. She was VERY excited to visit grandma and grandpa but there are still moments where she wants to go home to her familiar settings so it's taking a little bit for her to become familiar with this house as home for now. Which, of course, is weird to me cause this house always feels like home to me.

DS is actually sleeping like a champ! Not all through the night of course because I haven't gone to a parallel universe, but he is adapting pretty well to a different crib and different sleep settings although his proximity to me is pretty much the same and in his little world that is really all that matters.

Now...the flight:

The kids were pretty freaking amazing compared to what I was expecting! DD walked through the airport with her special Winnie the Pooh rolling suitcase. She was very proud of herself that she had her own and she was helping. We made it through security without a hitch and didn't have to wait very long before we were on the plane. The flight attendants were a lot of help and both my kids were fabulous. DD watched the Treehouse channel on the TV, ate the snacks they give you (although on the way back I'm definitely bringing more!) and just chatted nicely with me about where we were going and what was happening.

DS was hilarious. The biggest thing most people worry about with babies is the pressure change during take off and landing. Coupled with his recent diagnosis of an ear infection I was convinced that take off and landing would be hell. My boy, slept. What is ironic is he slept ONLY during take off and landing...lol Go figure right? I'm all worried about those moments and those are the ones where he is the most calm. He was also pretty happy in between as well, he smiled and played and giggled at his sister. It was pretty much the best scenario I could have hoped for so thank you to all who sent good vibes and prayers. I made it in one piece!!

My parents are in their element now. They get to hold, cuddle and play with their two grandkids every day and I just love seeing those big smiles on their faces and the sighs of contentment when they get those long awaited hugs and snuggles. My kids just drink up cuddles, they love it!

DD is off at the park with grandma now and after I post this I think I just might take a nap with DS who is snoozing beside me. Even though I have to be away from DH for the month of January at least I know I can relax at points throughout that time. We're going to get into a groove here and one of the first things we've started is giving DS some cereal. That is a fun adventure, give me a couple days and I'll do a new post about that.

Gonna go sleep a little bit cause I can DO that here! Yay ;)

Nurse Mama

I haven't slept in three days. Right now I was going to write a blog about dealing with two kids sick at the same time but all I hear in my head is ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

If I ever get sleep again I will blog...that is a promise...right now I'm going to race to sleep and see how much I get before Phlegm 2012 wakes up again.

*SNORE*

Dear Katie,

Hi, I, um...see I'm not sure what to say to you Katie. DD talks about you a lot so I gather that you are important but I'm not sure if I should kick you out of my house yet. When she give me attitude she says 'I'm talking to Katie' or if she wants to play with me and I have to make dinner or feed her brother she sighs and says 'fine I'll play with Katie'. So I don't know if she even likes you, or are you around for when she's bored? I'm not quite sure. She tells me you are her sister yet you also have a baby sister with the same name as her brother (which baffles me to no end let me tell you).

The other day I tried to include you in our plans Katie I really did. I asked if we should set a spot at the table for you (gotta support the imagination and all) or make sure you came in the car with us to do some errands. It seems though that you exist only for DD because she just looked at me like I was crazy and said 'Mommy you know Katie is just pretend right?'

I do know this Katie, I'm fully aware that you do not really exist, it just baffles me that for someone who doesn't exist you permeate a lot of conversations in this house. You also have remarkably similar experiences to that of my DD. Apparently you had a day where you refused to listen to your mom and got in trouble just like DD. Speaking of your mom Katie can you explain to me how you are DD's sister, yet your sister (who has the same name as my son) is NOT DD's sister? Don't even get me started on how myself and my DH are NOT your parents yet you are still related to our daughter? Are you from a parallel universe Katie? If so what's it like there? Can you go back and forth for our world to your world or are you stuck here?

These are very serious questions Katie, I need to know how much of an impact you are going to have on our lives. Apparently you do not need me to acknowledge you for you to exist. Shall we call you convenient Katie? If you do plan on sticking around just let DD hang out with her other friends too, the ones I can see. Oh and one more thing, I am glad DD has the type of imagination to create you, this is all fine and good just looking for your importance in the grand scheme of things. Grand scheme being, do I need to pay for some kind of therapy now/later or are you just around because my kid is extra creative? If I had my choice I'd go for the latter instead of the former...just saying.

So as long as you don't give my daughter any bad advice you are welcome here Katie...I think...I'm new to this imaginary friend thing.

Chatty Mama

Shhh do you hear that?....

...wait you don't hear anything? Why that's because my grey hair has been COVERED! Oh yes it's gone, well it's got a layer of nice warm brown shutting up it's constant shouting of 'you're old' and 'you can't do that you decrepit geezer!'. (I have very rude grey hair, you see now why it needed to be covered.) In case you forgot, after the paragraph or two dedicated to it yesterday, I got my hair done today. So now for your viewing pleasure and because I love me a play by play here is the journey my hair took this morning.

Before

During

 I decided to take a pictorial journey through the day so here it is. First we have the ever present bun that's been on my head for way more months then I want to admit. Isn't it hot with all the fuzzies and such? As you can see down isn't a whole lot better and that is a LOT of hair there folks it gets in the way and is the perfect length for DS to grab fistfuls on both sides when I lean forward to try and pick him up. Then we have the last picture before my hairdresser cut it.

I don't miss it, not even a little bit. I think she's obligated to ask if I'm okay with her cutting a large amount of but I was all 'if you don't I will do it myself'. That's actually a full threat to a hairdresser cause then they'd have to fix the darn mess you made trying to cut your own hair...LOL There is a reason the have to go to school.

Anyway we have the middle process now. She cut my hair before dying it because it would have be cruel to ask me to pay for her to dye hair she was going to cut off. I always love the 'foil look' I wonder if I could have gotten radio signals if I tried. I should have walked around the salon while the colour set holding my head at a weird angle looking like I was listening. If anyone asked what I was doing state matter of factly 'listening for the signal' then go back to it as if it was the most natural thing on earth. Wow I need to get out more, I think I just scared myself...lol

Reading stories to her brother.

So while I was going through this whole process I'm getting updates from home. DH was sending me pics of the kids. My favourite is this one where DD is reading DS a story. Honestly how cute is that?? She likes to find books and then make up her own story to go with the pictures. Pretty gosh darn smart if I do say so myself! Plus it's another picture to add to the group of pictures I will bust out when they both decide they hate each other in 10+ years...lol I need to remind her he wasn't always annoying and him she wasn't always bossy...oh wait...maybe that won't be true. If she's anything like me she'll be just a tad on the bossy side. Just a tad...no I'm not avoiding eye contact why do you say that? It is not at all connect with the fact that I may have just fibbed to you.

Finale

LOOK  NEW HAIR!

Not bad hey? I can't remember the last time it was this short. I had it quite short in my early twenties but it's pretty much been long layers since then. Or just plain long. I'm still finding it hard to recognise myself when I look in the mirror. I think the last time I had my hair salon cut was when I was in BC and had a good friend do it. And the last time I had a salon cut and colour was when I was very pregnant with DD. So over 4 years! Last year I had it trimmed but this was the whole deal and I love LOVE it. Plus now that I'm certain we are staying here I think I may also have found a stylist who I can keep going back to. So maybe, just maybe I can stay away from the box colour for now.

Okay I just did a whole post about my hair. How narcissistic is that? Maybe it's not, but next time I'll go back to talking about my kids. They really are every so much more interesting than me. Unless I'm doing my ninja skills, I'm pretty interesting then. I need to write another letter soon. I have one brewing to DD's imaginary friend Katie, I'll see if I can't get that up in a day or two. Ta ta for now! ;)

What to say...what to say...

Rubs hands together. Sooo it's been awhile. I was doing really good there for a bit and then I took a nap or something and fell off the radar. I'll try not to let that happen again. So how are things? Let me explain, no it is too much, let me sum up (nod to The Princess Bride): DS is sleeping better, DD is getting more nosebleeds, DH is going to India for a month and me? Well I'm getting my haircut tomorrow and it's consuming all my thoughts...okay most of my thoughts...alright my thought right now but it's there!

I live in a ponytail. This is sort of a mom thing, if I didn't my son would not only have fistfuls of my hair but he'd also have mouthfuls it would not be pretty (incidentally even when my hair is up he still gets fistfuls of the tiny hairs at the base of my neck and then he'll PULL). So my hair is up, constantly, and now it has gotten to the point that it's giving me headaches. *sigh* There is more than one reason it's giving me a headache one it is too heavy for my head therefore it aches. More importantly there is grey in there and it won't shut up! It's such loud grey hair, it taunts me! Calls me old! I need to shut up the grey hair so I will cut it and cover it with dye and no one will ever...oh...wait...you'll know BUT you won't be able to tell and that's all that matters. Muahahaha...you know I don't think this is an evil laugh moment...I really need to move on from my hair...sooo let's go back to the kidlets, they're cute and...go:

Gorgeous kids hey? :)

They are still the light of my life. Right now they are both sleeping and it is blissful. Lately it's been getting drier so DD has been getting nosebleeds. The poor dear gets SO frightened by any liquid feeling near her nose that she panics even if her nose is just running. Sometimes it does bleed and doing damage control in that situation in the middle of the night is...challenging.

There was one night when she woke up screaming as though someone had punched her in the nose. I jumped out of bed, no really I jumped into the air and landed on the floor I think I could have pulled something. My reason for reacting this way is simple, she's been known to come screaming into our room with her hands out as if she is bleeding out (she's not, ever, her crying usually makes it worse) and needless to say this does not help the baby keep sleeping. So I've become attuned to hearing her make a noise before she's opened her door so I can intercept and lead her to the bathroom. I'm getting pretty good at this...I'm very stealth. :)

Anyway this problem needs to be resolved soon, we're looking into getting a humidifier for her room to hopefully curb the issue so I don't have to leap out of my bed like a ninja in a nursing bra ;)

DS is still not sleeping through the night, however he is at least giving me longer stints between feeds. (These would be easier to enjoy if the aforementioned nosebleeds didn't occur in between these feedings) Sometimes he'll wake up only a couple of hours after he has last ate so these days I try the soother first and a little cuddle and usually he falls back asleep. I know my baby won't be a baby forever so it really doesn't bother me that he doesn't sleep through the night. I love to cuddle my little man and sometimes I'll just give in and have him next to me and then everything is right with the world. Remind me I said this when he's crawling into my bed at 5 and 6 years old...lol

Which brings me to DH and India, oh India, if only you didn't need my husband to come and fix you. Okay so he's not fixing the whole darn country but the people who work for his company need him out there. SO he goes, for a month...yeah that's right...a month. Remember when he was going away for 5 days and I wanted to hold onto his leg and kick and scream?? I'm not doing that this time...nope, I'm going to hide out at my parent's until my husband comes back...lol It just so happens that when he's planning to go was RIGHT after we were planning to return from visiting my parents for Christmas. SO instead I said to extend the tickets for the kids and I and we'll stay there. The best scenario is us being home here as a family of four, but if he has to go for work then the NEXT best scenario is this one. My parents get extra time with their grandkids (and me) and I won't get so overwhelmed that I'll drown in mommying. I have NO idea how single parents do it, I don't...guys I'm a wimp I can't do it. So I'll stomp my feet and run home to MY mommy and daddy for help.

 And that's all for now folks...I'll try to do a better job of blogging regularly. I forgot how fun it is. However, now my butt needs to go to bed...which is sad cause it's not even ten yet. I am a party ANIMAL...oh wait no...I'm a mom...lol

There is a light at the end of the tunnel...

...but I'm not in a tunnel.

I'm in the bright sunlight with a beautiful baby that I've wanted for long time. There is something to be said about perspective and I think in my lack of sleep I may have lost it for a bit.

There is no denying it is exhausting caring for an infant. They literally need you for everything. Add on top of that caring for an older child and one can feel overwhelmed. Especially when one isn't used to it. Now I am fully aware that a lot of you are not only caring for an infant your caring for many more children so I really do not have a lot to complain about. And here in lies the rub...I'm trying not to complain...it's not even that I'm not happy with my life or anything. I'm just tired. However, instead of finding a solution I just complained about being tired. Doesn't help anyone I'll tell you that much.

Enjoying the moment.

So I decided to live in the moment as it were. Cuddle my baby while he's still small enough to lay on my chest. Kiss his little head before he's running away from me to explore new things. Revel in how much my oldest loves her brother before she's screaming at me that he's annoying her. These days are never going to happen again, not in this way. Yes I'm tired, yes I wish he slept through the night, but in no way do I want him to be anyone but himself. So if he still needs me at night then mommy will be there. I'll also actively work at figuring out what is keeping him awake.

I've now removed dairy and beef from my diet. This means I need to make sure I'm taking my prenatals because I don't want my iron to be to low. Anyway, point being yesterday was the first day where I didn't have a bit of either of those things and last night he slept SO much better. You see it wasn't really the fact that I needed to get up to feed him, that's all fine and good if he actually sleeps in between feedings I have some time to sleep. However he was squirming and wriggling in between to the point of actually waking himself up. See now that does no one any good. There were times that the only way he'd actually sleep is if he was on my chest (like the picture) and even then it was only for an hour or two and then he'd be squirming again. So now I'm figuring out my diet so that I can still eat good food but what I'm eating isn't making the poor boy squirm and wriggle till he finally poops. I think this was even affecting his naps. So we'll see over the next week or two if we have any improvement. Why didn't I think of this before you ask? I did, but I didn't want to put in the effort to change my diet so it stayed the same...really then I did this to myself. Stupid, stupid mama...lol

Hopefully we are now on an upswing and he will sleep better, but honestly even if he doesn't this too shall pass and in a year I'll be reading this and wistfully thinking back to the little baby who loved to cuddle in mommy's arms.

My beautiful princess :)

Speaking of growing up without warning me I finally took DD to get her hair cut. It has been driving me crazy! She didn't seem to mind but the constant dangle of so much hair in her face was making me insane. What's worse is she wouldn't let me put it up in any capacity, not to mention fighting me pretty much any time I tried to brush or comb it. For awhile she was terrified to have it cut so it was a losing battle for me. THEN we got her the movie 'Tangled' and one time when she was watching it with DH at the end when Rapunzel's hair gets cut she said 'I want my hair short like that.' Boom, done, I found a place here that came recommended by a friend and only charged $13 for a haircut and brought her in yesterday. She even got to have her hair washed and styled, she was so excited and she behaved SO well! Plus...look at how beautiful and grown up she looks with her short hair!

I love, LOVE the cut and am planning to go again in December to get it trimmed before we head out to my parent's place for Christmas. We'll maintain short hair until she decides she'd like something different. I'm sure one day I won't be able to get into my bathroom because she'll be doing her hair, but right now it's a chore just getting her to wash it! LoL Well I'm off to hang out with my kids. Next topic will more than likely be my new work out regime...that's right this mama is going to lose the extra pounds! I need to start feeling like me again! Until next time...

The second pot of coffee will be brewing...

...it's a two pot kind of day here in our household.

We're still only on our first pot but I'm up at 6:30 for reasons unknown to me. Both children are sleeping soundly (okay DS is sleeping rather loudly with these weird noises but he's sleeping!) yet I'm fully awake! It's normal for DH to be awake now but not so much for me, I'm usually begging to be sleeping at this point. But you see DS let me have two stints of about 3 hours so for some reason my stupid body now thinks THAT is sleeping well because up until this point it's been worse than that. How stupid IS my body? lol

'Helping' me work out :)

Okay DD just started coughing and DS has simmered down. Man my children are loud when they sleep. Although it's not her fault this cold keeps lingering. I have plans this weekend that are probably going in the pooper if this sticks around. (Don't worry church folk, still leading :)

Anyway on to other news. I've started working out again. It's going to be a bit of a process trying to find the time to do it though. With DD I just waited till she was having her afternoon nap and then I'd get my hour in on the Wii fit. This time around I've ordered Zumba for the Wii because I want to focus more on cardio and weight loss to start. I have a bit further to go than I did with DD so first loss, then tone...see I have a plan. I just hate the idea of trying to go to the gym and with the amount that DS nurses even just taking one class is hit and miss, so I'll start with my Wii and then after Christmas I'll venture out into classes, if only for the sheer purpose of being around other people.

It's not as hard as I thought it would be to get moving although I've only done it once, give it time for my muscles to get mad at me and I'll want to take a break. It's almost easier for me to keep working out than it is for me to eat properly. I go into it with all sorts of good intentions but then I fall back into bad habits and end up eating crap again. It's very frustrating. So I'm going to try that slowly, cut down on the obvious like less sugar and smaller portions. THEN try the new stuff, like this quinoa, I've had it a couple of times but I'd like to but it and figure out how to make it, because apparently it's packed with goodness.

Well kids are up, time to start my day...wish me luck! *YAWN*

Dear Future Teenage Son,

Just you wait. Right now you act like you don't want to sleep. I know you need to but you have this weird idea that you need to be up all the time; like you'll miss something if you go to sleep. You won't, you'll just miss your parents going to sleep earlier...really.

I'm veering off course, my point for this letter future son is to let you know this:

Payback, she is a bitch. ;)

I am secretly planning all the ways I will wake you up when you want to sleep most. Don't get me wrong if you've worked very hard I will let you sleep, if you have studied very hard I will let you sleep, BUT if you party very hard, mama is NOT going to be so kind. :D

I might pound on your door...HARD...at 6am.

PS. Please observe your exceptional cuteness
 which is the very reason you survived
through my sleep deprivation.

I might just walk into your room, pull off all your blankets...then leave again. We live in Canada it gets cold here, you're gonna want those blankets. :/

I might just sit on the bed and tickle your nose.

Or holler your name, a lot, over and over again, until you answer.

You won't know when I will do this, you won't know when it will end, but I promise you son. Mama, she is making plans.

LOVE YOU!
Chatty Mama

Dear Wits End,

Hmm sleep you say?

It's been awhile since I've made it all the way to you wits end but here I am. A lot of the time I'm waving from a distance knowing I'm coming up to my wits end, but then fortune smiles upon me and I get to move away from you again. Not these days though, these days I'm camped out near you mapping out measurements for a permanent residence.

My son will. Not. sleep. Okay, let me rephrase. He will not sleep for longer than, at most, 3 hours at a time. I cannot for the life of me get this kid to give me a long stint at night. Every night that he gets up so consistently has brought me closer to you wits end. I have nothing against you...wait...I'm lying...I have everything against you! I don't want to be near you let along AT you!

I'm thinkin' about it...

If I have to be here then the least you could do is tell me how to get the little blighter to actually freaking stay sleeping. I'll own up to the fact that it's hard for me to hear him moving around in his crib and not want to go and pick him up. In fact I'll go so far as to say that's part of the problem, but wits end, what has brought me to you is figuring out how to tell the boy that morning isn't the time for him to boycott eating. He should be taking a break from eating at NIGHT. That's why we have this thing called breakfast to 'break' the 'fast' of NOT EATING. Oh wits end I love this sweet sweet boy so much and I did have an idea that he'd bring me to you. We've been here before, his sweet sister brought me to you on a regular basis.

...NAH being awake is fun!

However I find a glaring difference because at this point she actually slept through the night. Yeah sure she nursed sometimes 2 or 3 times but goodness at least she'd go back to sleep without a problem. I didn't have to endure the hour of grunting or whinging or whatever it is he does in between feedings.

Wits end I'll break it down very simply for you, I want to move away from you. I don't want to be here again, I'm aware that teething might bring me over to your neck of woods soon but could I get a break?? A few weeks of normal, human sleep?? Is that really too much to ask? I've tried talking to 5am, growth spurt and even sleep itself but I get NOTHING! I'd talk to DS if he wasn't so busy being the cutest little baby who never slept longer than 3 hours at a time! *sigh*

Okay I get it, I signed up for this and all that rot. I know there will be a time when I will look back on this and smile fondly...oh wait no I don't think I'll look back on lack of sleep fondly. His baby cuteness maybe, but not so much the lack of sleep. I will be happy when that's over with for good, or replaced by lack of sleep due to worry.

Tiredly yours,
Chatty Mama

Self cleaning house...Activate!!

Every time I turn around there is something to clean. For the life of me I can't get my self cleaning oven to teach my floor or dishes to self clean. I've tried. I sit here on my couch shouting random instructions to the various messy rooms in my house and they ignore me! I'm being disrespected by my house! Who do I report that to? Right now while my baby sleeps I should be doing some of that cleaning, possibly start supper, but NO dear reader I'm going to write a blog post instead. You can thank me in the comments later. I'm sure this will be worth all of my procrastination.

There are baby apparatuses in every room of this house except for DD's. That particular room is strewn with  many, MANY toys. To list off, just for fun, the living room has the playmat and exersaucer, not to mention the nursing pillow and of course one or two of DD's toys. There's also a vacuum cleaner that hasn't done a LICK of work since I turned it off last week. Lazy ass. Anyway, the kitchen has dishes all over the place, DD's table and chair, her trampoline that seems to collect and then disbrute more dust than anything in the house and DS's swing. Our room has baby clothes up to 12-18 months desperately in need of some organisation, as well as cloth diapers and everything that goes with them waiting to be organised. Then of course the change table has clothes two small that need to be taken out. I did make my bed though so that's a start. Same with DD's room it looks like a bomb hit it, but the bed is made, it's the little things people I'm grasping here, just go with it. :p

And now as I try to think of more witticisms my children call for me, both of them, at the same time. *sigh* Forget cleaning I need to figure out how to either clone myself or split myself in two. Thankfully DH is here, don't know what I'm going to do when he has to leave for more business next month. *double sigh* Come on house...CLEAN! :p

Dear Teething

Do NOT even think about it!

No!

Stay away!

Chatty Mama

Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya, tomorrow...

...you're only a day away!!!!

Me? Excited about DH coming home? Nope not at all what gave you that idea? ;)

I have been trying to attempt to write a blog all week, but honestly it would have mostly consisted of:

*SOB* DH come home!
I need sleep!
Yay cloth diapers!
I need sleep!
*SOB* DH come home!

The reasons for my lack of sleep
Cute huh? ;)

Needless to say, basically just whining. Today, however, I feel invigorated enough to write a post because frankly I've actually missed writing them. Go figure. Also I'm very excited that in one more sleep I get to drive to the city and pick up my husband!!! Yay for returning to double parenting!! I do NOT know how you single parents do this...I don't...five days is about ready to put me in an asylum. My house looks like a bomb hit it, the bags under my eyes are deep and dark and I can't remember the last time I actually had a meal that wasn't just toast. However, both kids are clean, fed and pretty happy so I suppose that's a win. lol

So just for fun this is really how my week went. My wonderful in-laws let me hang out at their place so someone else could hold my baby, I could play with my daughter AND I could have intelligent adult conversation. I also got to go on a play date yesterday which helped to tire my kids out. Last night was the best sleep all week, don't start clapping yet, it was still crap...but it was better than the other nights. No child screamed and cried and neither did I.

Making chalk drawing look good! :)

See, great night. DS still got up four times and DD got up twice (different from her brother of course) so mommy didn't sleep much...but over all we're doing pretty good. :) See I'm trying to be optimistic, it helps keep me in a better mood so I don't snap at DD all day, the poor girl gets the brunt of mommy overtired and that's not fair. So if I'm in an optimistic mind frame the mood stays up and the overtired stays down. Win/Win :)

Yesterday was gorgeous outside so I put DS in the wrap and let DD play outside. She loves to take chalk and draw on the driveway, lucky for us we have a huge driveway. This pic still blows me away I just called her, she looked up and there you have it absolutely gorgeous child drawing on the driveway. I look at this picture and think DH is going to have to keep weight lifting to intimidate any boy who even THINKS about asking my beauty out! Honestly how gorgeous is she in this picture? *shakes head* Oh man I'm gonna have issues when boys start looking at her. Forget DH I'm going to be one intimating mama!!

Nice lookin' diapers hey? 

So as I mentioned above I've started cloth diapering. I got my diapers (fluffy mail) on Tuesday and it really did save my sanity that day. I was soo tired and sad that getting the mail was my highlight! I was so excited to get them and start trying them out. I was texting my friend to give me specific instructions on how I should prep them and everything. It took a whole day of washing to get them prepped so I couldn't put them on DS until the next day.

We started off the day in the olive coloured diaper and by the end of the day we'd used three covers...not bad if I do say so myself. I think I have some really fun solid colours so believe me I can't WAIT to get some prints. My kid's bum is going to be so tricked out it's ridiculous.

Yeah I'm wearing cloth and I am cool!

Also ridiculous, how stinkin' cute he looks in them! They really do showcase his cute baby blubber don't they? Look at the chub on that little boy! He was three months old yesterday and I weighed him at a friend's place he's almost 16 pounds! (I was a pound off the other day in my estimation, however it still stands that this kid is a chunky monkey!) The covers he's wearing apparently go from 15-38 pounds so I'll get some good use out of them. That doesn't mean I don't need to buy more, because PRINTS...I am sooo addicted to fluffy mail it's kind of insane. My poor DH is going to have to curb my spending or DS's blinging behind is going to be the reason we're eating Kraft Dinner for a month...LOL

Anyway we have survived this week and after one more sleep we will be able to have our family together again. I hear hints that DH might have to go on a THREE WEEK business trip in the new year. If that happens I think his company owes me some online shopping money. If they give me that then maybe I'll let them have my husband for that long...or even better just let us come with him! Anyway the weekend is almost here and my hubby is almost home...all kinds of yay going on there. :)

Dear Growth Spurt...

The only way he will properly nap.

YOU SUCK!

Honestly what is with the poopy timing? Did you intentionally wait until DH was in Kentucky before you decided to inflict your cluster feeding, growth pain, cling inducing self on my son? What is UP with that?? This boy is 17 pounds! Do you have any idea how much fun he is to carry around all day? Thank the good Lord up above I have a Moby or I would be kickin' your spurty butt to the curb!

How much do you wanna bet that the night DH gets home DS will sleep the longest he's ever slept? Oh it'll happen...I can just see it now. 'He seems to be sleeping fine to me.' You know hun if you're reading this, don't say that because I will give you a black eye, consider this your warning. ;)

Don't get me wrong I absolutely LOVE snuggling with my little guy and it's even more fun in the wrap because he's all cuddled right up against me where he belongs. However, when this has to happen during the week that I have to be both parents to both kids it'd be really nice if I could put the little one down for a minute or two so DD and I can have some time together. The poor girl is going to get a complex and ask to get into the wrap in a minute.

See what you did there growth spurt? You gave the girl a complex, I am billing YOU for her therapy in a few years. I don't understand why you have to stretch and grow my baby so fast!! He's just barely 3 months old and the boy is pushing 20 pounds...no no no no NO! I want him to be my sweet little tiny baby for awhile longer but then of course youuuu had to take that from me.

You best hope we don't run into each other in a dark alley growth spurt cause I most definitely owe YOU a black eye. Go away, leave my baby alone...at least until his father comes home to take him in the morning so I can sleep.

By the way if you see sleep tell it to get it's butt back here it clearly wasn't paying attention to my letter. So now I'm peeved. :p

Screw you,
Chatty Mama

PS. Pass along a message to 5am too...if this keeps up I'm going to consider it stalking.

NOOO don't leave me!!!

Do you think if I hide his suitcases he won't go?

Okay so that MIGHT be melodramatic. It, however, is my genuine reaction to DH having to go on a five day business trip. Yup he's leaving for 5 days, that's actually not that long. In fact he's been gone for 3 weeks before and I've survived. The difference this time is I'm being left with two kids! AHHH! I know, I know there are those out there who parent more than two at a time. Plus, mine are 4 years apart so the difficulty level isn't high. It's just, forget it, I'm a big baby and I don't want to do this alone! *sobs*

I wonder if the neighbours will think less of me if I hang onto his leg kicking and screaming while he tries to get into the car? I honestly thought about it...partly for some humorous dramatics and partly because I really REALLY don't want him to go!!

It's not that I don't think I can handle it, it's that I don't even want to try! I love my kids like crazy, but I definitely look forward to the evenings and weekends when my two kids have two parents available. I only have two sides and there are times I have both kids wanting a piece of me. How do you parents with more than 2 do it? Is there a kid attached to each arm and a leg or strapped to your back or balancing on your head?? I don't get it, the idea of more makes me a little crazy! LOL I'm sure I'll survive and will not run out to him when he returns home next Friday. I'll just casually go out there and hand him the baby...lol

With DD today after shaving, with DS yesterday before shaving...lol

I don't know that I'd miss him that much if he wasn't so hands on. Which I prefer by the way! He does art work with DD, who enjoys painting and gluing with daddy. And one of DS's favourite spots is right there on daddy's chest. As you can see in the pic he clearly just zones out on there. I'd miss him either way, but knowing how involved he is with the kids makes it that much harder.

Thankfully there are things like Skype and iPhones to keep him as involved as possible while he's gone. He can talk to DD at night before she goes to bed and he can see DS so that he knows how badly he wants to cuddle him when he gets home.

I am so very grateful that DH has a job that allows him to work from home so that he is around for a lot more of our kids growing up than he would be otherwise. It is because of this that I can handle his rather infrequent business trips because it still works out in our favour in the end. However if they really do send him to the Philippines for 3 weeks I'm going with him! LOL

Dear 5am...

So cute and SOO not sleeping.

I never EVER want to see you again. We are breaking up, the only time I want to be near you is when I'm sleeping right through you. I know you got to show me this little cutie this morning and that's all fine and dandy. I do want to let you in on a little secret. I SEE HIM ALL DAY! *ehm* Sorry I'll try not to yell, it's just that I spend my whole day with this beautiful boy, I would really REALLY like to spend the night sleeping so that I can enjoy him the next day.

Sleep and I have had a talk about the fact that it can't seem to hang around long enough. If you two work together and I get some of sleep then maybe just maybe you'll be back in my good books. That said I still don't want to see you, ever. You can tell the sun I said hi, you can watch over me while I'm sleeping but for the love of all things holy stop asking me to hang out. It's not going to happen, I'm taken you are not the hour for me so go hang out with the other hours that are not for me (12-6) you can form a club or whatever but leave me the heck alone.

I am mommy, one who has seen THE EYE!

An hour I don't mind seeing is 7 but its brother 7:30 would do well to not scare me by encouraging my daughter to come so close to my face in the morning that I feel her breathing and wake up to this eye!

My daughter is beautiful and has lovely eyes.  In fact she also has eyelashes that I envy but goodness gracious they about gave me a heart attack that close to my face. Thankfully I didn't scream because after DS went back to sleep he stayed that way till 8:30! That's why I like those later morning times, they seem way more agreeable. Not so loud and obtrusive :p

We had our time in the sun (depending on the season) 5am but I have grown up now and have no intention of hanging out with you at all in the future. Please enjoy the memories of our times and move on, I need it for the love of sanity. These two children that I have need a mama who is alert so if you keep waking them up at your time then I am not alert I am a bear...a very angry snappy bear.

It's been a slice 5am, I really hope we don't see each other again. However, if we do I would warn you to leave quickly or I could get very angry. Send me to your friend 8am, I really like that one :)

From,
Chatty Mama

Gong, gong...

...do you hear that? That's the gong of the gong show that was my day yesterday. *sigh*

Don't yawn son...SLEEP! :)

You know your day is going to turn out to be long when you have to help your infant son work out his gas at 3:30 in the morning and then proceed to have him only calm down and sleep when he is on you. So by 6 that morning I really hadn't had much sleep. I did get about 3.5 hours before the gas debacle but not much after that. Thankfully DH took our son for at least 45 minutes this morning so I got a bit of a nap in then.

Last night wasn't much different. He went about 3 hours from the dream feed then maybe another 45 minutes to an hour before we had another gas issue that had me giving him gripe water and helping him work it out. Then he slept with me till he nursed again. He slept in his crib for just over an hour and then he was up again wanting cuddles from mom. The only reason I put him back in his crib was just so I could get some deep sleep without having to be in the same position, so aware that he's there. (He squirms a lot)

He woke up this morning, after nursing at about 6:45, smiling widely at me. It's just so hard to be upset with him when he's so stinkin' cute, but man alive do I want to sleep now. He's actually taking a semblance of a nap, but I need to be up to make DD some breakfast cause I promised her crepes. SOO it goes.

Yeah that`s right you sit there and be cute.

I hope the gong show that was yesterday doesn't bleed into today, it's so hard for me to be involved with what DD is doing when DS is so clingy. DD feels sad and ignored and I just feel so drained and tired that everything she does gets on my nerves. I have to take deep breaths so I'm not taking my tiredness out on her, but she's four, and chatty and oh my word it just seems like it is NON STOP when I just want a break.

DH is gone next week and I think I might go mad. I honestly do not know how single parents do it. You guys amaze me! Kudos to all my single parent friends, you're heroes in my book.

Birth Story...and I almost died...

Since my most recent birth story comes with a scary addition I figured I'd post it here, so that when I reference it in other posts it'll make sense to those who do not know the details. Please if you have any questions feel free to ask them in the comments. In the future I can give you my first birth story it's not nearly as traumatic, but close. Anyway here we go:


This is probably going to be long. It is probably going to have some graphic stuff written in it...if you would call yourself the 'faint of heart' I would avoid this post...call this my disclaimer. :)
I didn't think I'd actually have a birth story to tell when I went into this pregnancy because I basically knew I'd be having a c-section. I wanted to try a VBAC (Vaginal Birth After C-section) but deep down I knew that my body just isn't compatible for natural births. Which sucks because I will never experience that now and I have definitely had to grieve that knowledge. However, since my life and my children's lives are not defined by how they entered the world I have grieved this and moved on.  

39 weeks 3 days

On Tuesday June 26th I took one last picture of me being pregnant and went to the hospital to have my baby. This time was so different from last time because I wasn't in labour and I knew what was going to happen. Everything happened fairly textbook. The surgery was quick, there was that brief moment before I heard the cry that I'm pretty sure my heart stopped. I will never forget the look on DH's face when he said 'it's a boy'. It really made it worth it that we had waited the whole nine months to find out who we were having. The moment I saw him I knew his name suited him...the whole time it had been my first choice for a name but I didn't really feel it until I saw him, then I was sure. 

There was an agonising hour that I had to wait before I could properly hold him but I knew he was with his dad so it was okay. Everything seemed to go fairly good from then on, I obviously felt like anyone would after major abdominal surgery but in the beginning there it actually felt better than it had with DD, so I thought this would be so much easier, boy was I wrong. 

Almost from the moment I got home I felt like I was in more pain than last time. This could have to do with the fact that last time I got to take some T3's home with me and this time it was just regular Tylenol and Advil. It still just felt different and as the days went on it actually felt wrong. With DD even though I had felt like a train had run me over, each day I would feel much better and it just went from there. This time for the first few days I felt a bit better but then it started going downhill. I wasn't producing as much breast milk as I had with DD so I was feeding DS at closer intervals and he always seemed hungry. However he still gained back his birth weight and more by his two week appointment so obviously he was still getting the nutrients, I just had to feed him more to do it. (And now he's almost 15 - 16 pounds and nearly 3 months old so throughout all this he has thrived! :)

At our two week appointment I mentioned to my doctor that there felt like there was a hard painful lump under my belly button and it didn't seem to be getting better. After barely looking at it and hardly touching it I was told it was normal and that was it. Now I'm not saying by looking at it there would have been any obvious signs that it was going to be a huge infection, but I'm pretty sure if I had been looked at a little more closely it could have been noted that something was off. Hindsight is 20/20 after all. Since I was told it was normal I tried to ignore it over the next couple of weeks but it really only started to get worse. Then almost two weeks later I got the fever. First day it was 101 and it stayed in that range (unless I had taken Tylenol) for 5 days; even after I'd gone to the clinic and got a prescription for oral antibiotics. 

Flowers DD brought to me in the hospital

In retrospect I remember thinking that I should just turn off and go to the ER on the night I went to the clinic with my fever, but I was terrified that if I went in they'd admit me and then I'd be kept away from my baby. I think I lived with the fever as long as I did because I couldn't stand the thought of being kept away from him. When we finally went in on the Wednesday night (July 25th) I visibly relaxed when they told me that not only could I keep him with me at the hospital but I could continue to breastfeed him. It was my focus on him that kept me from thinking thoroughly about what was really going on with me. If I had thought about that too much I think I would have been in a very bad place at the hospital waiting to find out what exactly was wrong with me. Which was a very bad infection, one that spread rapidly the night before I had my surgery. 

I'm scared to think about what would have happened if I had waited just a couple more days before going in. What they found was a fist size hard clot of blood that had collected together after my c-section. Normally during a surgery like that if blood gets into the cavity it's absorbed back into the body, on rare occasions it doesn't. I think if it had been detected sooner the IV antibiotics would have been able to get at it, but because it was in there for two more weeks it formed a protective hard covering that the IV couldn't reach. So they had to go in and physically remove it. The doctor who did my surgery (love him by the way) told me it was about the size of a fist. They left the wound open for 5 days so that any other fluids could drain while it healed from the inside out...then I was stapled shut. 

DS the day we were released, he's a bit big for the hospital bassinet :) 

At one point during the 5 days the wound was open they had to 'un-package and re-package' my wound...if you have a weak stomach don't read this or brace yourself. I lay on the bed and the doctor pulled out the gauze that had been inside my wound THEN put fresh gauze back in...the amount that he pulled out was ridiculous and almost made me puke...but the feeling of it coming out was the worst! No wait the worst was when he put more gauze back in. I was honestly traumatised...I think they thought the shot of pain killer they gave me would be enough to mask it but even without the pain I sobbed. I can tell you this I've never wanted my mother more than in that moment...never. 

The wound was stapled on the Thursday and I was released (with staples) that Saturday...which was the day my sister arrived. I got my staples out the following Tuesday and only then did I feel like I was finally moving away from this whole ordeal. I feel like the I was robbed of my first month with my baby. I'm frustrated that I wasn't listened too when I first thought there was a problem but I'm more frustrated that I didn't do or say anything until it was almost too late. I'm not kidding, even though I wasn't told outright I know that I was very close to being too late. I was so worried about being kept from my baby for a little bit I almost lost the chance to be with him at all. It's sobering to think about because I honestly haven't faced my mortality like that before.

Sorry to be so morbid...the end result is that I'm doing better now. I'm taking each day slowly, trying not to overdo myself but also wanting to get back into the swing of things. I truly love my life and I'm so very glad that I get to go back to enjoying it again. 

We were helped so much throughout this whole ordeal. I have no idea how we would have made it without the prayer and support from everyone, but mostly from my wonderful mother-in-law, sister and mom. The timing of my sister's visit just happened to coincide to a time when I needed her most and then my mom came just after. If I didn't have them over those two weeks it would have been harder to recover. If my mother-in-law hadn't taken care of DD during the last week I was in the hospital I don't know what we would have done. DH needed to work and DD needed a stable adult that she trusted to spend time with her. It was the perfect set up under the circumstances. Now at the end of this I finally get to enjoy my wonderful new family of four and hopefully never have to be hospitalised again!

Getting To Know Me

1. State your name: Chatty Mama ;)

2. State the name that your parents almost named you: Erin

3. Which of your relatives do you get along with the most? It's a toss up between my mom and my sister.

4. What was your first job? I had a paper route, but my first hourly wage job was at McDonald's...do you want fries with that? ;)

6. Did anything embarassing happen this week? I have a four-year-old I don't get embarrassed much any more...especially when she likes to talk about the fact that I feed her baby brother with my boobs, usually said in public...lol

7. Do you miss your ex? Not even a little bit.

8. Do people praise you for your looks? Not sure how to answer this one...no one goes on and on about me being ugly...lol

9. What is your favorite color of clothing to wear? Probably blue or purple

10. How do you wear your makeup? On my face ;)

11. What are some of your nicknames? Mommy and hun are the ones used the most :)

12. How many bedrooms are in your house? 4

13. How many bathrooms? 2

14. Do you have a job? Yes I'm a stay at home mom, it's a 24/7 gig that gets paid in smiles and hugs. :)

15. Do you have a car? Yup

16. Do you work out every week? I wish, not yet, have to get over the last of my surgeries before I can get back to that but I'd love to start soon!

17. Did you brush your teeth this morning? Yes

18. Have you ever kissed someone you never saw again? Many moons ago this was commonplace I'm ashamed to say.

19. Have you ever sang in front of a crowd?  In high school I did a bit yes.

20. What kind of bathing suit do you wear? One the covers all the bits affected by growing my babies. :)

21. Do you like your eyes? Yes I do

22. Do you think you are pretty? Sure

23. Who was the last person you talked to in person? My husband

24. How much money is in your checking account? Enough

25. Are you single? Nope

26. Do you want kids? I have two, that's enough :)

27. Tell me what your back pack looks like: Wow I feel dated now, my daughter has two pink back packs...lol

28. What celebrity do you think is hot? Hmm, depends on my mood...gotta see Magic Mike ;)

29. Last movie you saw in theatre: The Avengers...SO GOOD!

30. Are you dating the same person you dated last year? I'm not dating anyone, I'm married to the same person I was married to last year...lol

31. Has someone you were dating ever cheated on you? Yup

32. Have you ever cheated? Nope

33: Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘J’? LMAO...my husband's name starts with J ;)

34: What do you like to do in your spare time? I very rarely get spare time so when I do I like to sleep, play on my computer, sleep, read or just sip a nice drink and revel in the fact that no one is asking me a thousand questions...lol

35: Do you have a facebook? Yes

36: What’s the cutest thing someone’s ever done for you? My hubby is constantly doing cute things for me :)

37: Who was the last person you texted? Uh more than likely my friend in the States...we tend to text constantly on What's App...lol

38: How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have? Enough

39: How do you look right now? Like a mom 

40: Who’s the person who first comes to your mind when someone mentions “love”? My hubby and then my kids :)

Cloth diapering is a HUGE undertaking...

...the scary thing is I haven't even started yet! LoL I really think in the end it will save DH and I a lot of money for us to cloth diaper DS and since the diapers will only be on his little bum I can sell my stash off when I don't need it. I'm glad I know a number of moms already cloth diapering or I would be sooo lost. I think I put it off for so long because there are just so many varieties I had no idea where to start.

Who would have thought that diapering could be so lucrative? LoL I mean there are designs and patterns and so many different colours and that's only for the covers! Then there are inserts of varying varieties it makes my head spin. I had to educate my grandmother that I won't have to hand wash them, there are no pins and the covers aren't just plastic and plain. I mean heck it's probably impossible to just get a white one, I mean how boring is that. I wanna find a camo one for DS! LOL

Don't even get me started on the leggings that you can now get so that baby can show off the diaper cover! Next summer DS is just gonna be in cute diaper covers and baby leggings...because that is the style...I'm kind of sad I didn't do this with DD because the covers with ruffles on the butt are too cute. Practical, no, but definitely cute.

I'm writing about this now because I ordered my first set of diapers and I want them to come in the mail already! Now I ordered them yesterday so obviously I have to wait (I HATE waiting!) so I figured I'd write about them. Maybe once I get the mail I'll write a letter to them. Do I see a 'Dear Cloth Diapers' post in my future? More than likely. Are you on the edge of your seat in anticipation? Yeah I thought so.

I'm sure I'll have all kinds of things to say once I venture into actually using these diapers. Not to mention pictures of how cute my little boy's butt is going to look in those covers. I haven't even ordered and prints yet, just solid colours. I have to work my way up to it...LOL

Oh yeah I haven't even talked about the accessories that 'need' to be involved in this endeavour. There are different varieties of bags to put the used diapers in (some that you can apparently just throw right into the wash). Then bags for diaper bags and then you can get bamboo, hemp or microfiber products because you know it's not overwhelming already.

I'm determined to be a pro at this, so I can at least prove to my husband it's a worthwhile investment...oh and because it's best for the environment and all that. Wow I just realised I'm a bed sharing, baby wearing, breast feeding and cloth diapering mama. When the heck did that happen?

Dear Sleep,

I miss you friend. It seems so long since we've hung out for an extended period of time. Also I would really appreciate it if you could spend some extra time with my son. When you don't hang out with him he wants to hang out with me and while I love him more than life itself in order for me to keep giving him life I need to get more of you.

You're a party animal sleep, can't sit still for long which troubles me because I need you to hang out with me for a number of hours at a time. My children would prefer their mother not a grizzly bear growling at them all day. I blame you for this sleep, if I had you I would not be grumpy. So for the love of everything holy quit flitting around my house and just land for the entire night. Please, or pretty please.

I'm pretty sure I shouldn't  be operating heavy machinery with the lack of you. That's got to be in the fine print somewhere on my insurance. I wonder if the washer and dryer qualify as heavy machinery? Not that it matters mind you, four people make enough laundry that tired or not it needs to get done. I find it odd that my infant son seems to rebuff you at every turn, yet I'm sure in a few years he'll be wishing he had all day to be able to enjoy you.

Sleep I may have ignored you in the past and I'm sorry for that. I recognise now how important you are in my life so please come back to me sleep. DH and I really could use some reprieve from our every day and we look forward to you at night. Maybe you could explain to DS at nap times today how important it is for him to hang out with you at night. I would really appreciate that, he seems to think if he indulges in you that he'll be missing something. He's got his whole life ahead of him, now is the time for him to grab onto you and not let go.

He'll have the rest of his life to wish he had...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Sincerely,
Chatty Mama

Taking a drive...

A wonderful friend of mine has a couple of weeks off and I decided to drive into the city last night to visit her. I like being able to do these things again. After DS was born I thought I'd be able to at least enjoy some of the summer, but when I had to go back into the hospital it basically took me out of the running to do anything social. Thankfully I have wonderful friends and family who visited me and kept me sane.

Now I want to go out and visit back. Just being able to get out of the house again helps me to realize how wonderful life is. I will expand on this experience in a following post, this is about DS and I hanging out last night.

I had initially planned to leave both kids at home, but realized it was much more work to pump and get engorged then to just take my little snuggly boy with me. :)

When DD was born I was way more uptight about taking her out. I was so nervous about how she would act I think she picked up on it and would freak out...lol Or she was just overly sensitive and got over stimulated quickly. Because of this I tended to keep her at home more in the early stages. DS on the other hand is just a relaxed dude. He rides in the car well, even if he cries it's not for long and then he usually nods off. When we walked around the mall he just lay in his car seat and looked around.

At one point on the drive there he cried a bit and once we got there he had this huge tear sitting on his cheek. He looked all happy at that point but that big tear was just so sad. :) He's such a little sweetie pie I love taking him around.

No one can resist those big wide blue eyes of his so I think I get stared at more now when I'm holding him than when I was pregnant. Not that I blame them, he's very cute.

And just because I need to add another picture of his extreme cuteness here he is as we were getting ready to leave last night. He just liked to smile up at my friend almost like he was flirting with her. Oh who am I kidding my son was totally flirting with her..lol It's like he's already aware of his charm, which doesn't surprise me. His daddy is a charmer too. ;)

Next up I'm have a date with my girl...who is sporting the clothes I bought her. She was so pumped about the tights I think I'm going to have to get her some more. I needed a solution of something for her to wear under her skirt so that she's not flashing her panties to everyone (anyone know how to teach a four-year-old to stop doing that?) and something warmer to wear as the weather gets cooler. I think she's going to want to come with me next time I shop...looks like we need to have a girls day soon. This mom thing is fun! ;)