There is a light at the end of the tunnel...

...but I'm not in a tunnel.

I'm in the bright sunlight with a beautiful baby that I've wanted for long time. There is something to be said about perspective and I think in my lack of sleep I may have lost it for a bit.

There is no denying it is exhausting caring for an infant. They literally need you for everything. Add on top of that caring for an older child and one can feel overwhelmed. Especially when one isn't used to it. Now I am fully aware that a lot of you are not only caring for an infant your caring for many more children so I really do not have a lot to complain about. And here in lies the rub...I'm trying not to complain...it's not even that I'm not happy with my life or anything. I'm just tired. However, instead of finding a solution I just complained about being tired. Doesn't help anyone I'll tell you that much.

Enjoying the moment.

So I decided to live in the moment as it were. Cuddle my baby while he's still small enough to lay on my chest. Kiss his little head before he's running away from me to explore new things. Revel in how much my oldest loves her brother before she's screaming at me that he's annoying her. These days are never going to happen again, not in this way. Yes I'm tired, yes I wish he slept through the night, but in no way do I want him to be anyone but himself. So if he still needs me at night then mommy will be there. I'll also actively work at figuring out what is keeping him awake.

I've now removed dairy and beef from my diet. This means I need to make sure I'm taking my prenatals because I don't want my iron to be to low. Anyway, point being yesterday was the first day where I didn't have a bit of either of those things and last night he slept SO much better. You see it wasn't really the fact that I needed to get up to feed him, that's all fine and good if he actually sleeps in between feedings I have some time to sleep. However he was squirming and wriggling in between to the point of actually waking himself up. See now that does no one any good. There were times that the only way he'd actually sleep is if he was on my chest (like the picture) and even then it was only for an hour or two and then he'd be squirming again. So now I'm figuring out my diet so that I can still eat good food but what I'm eating isn't making the poor boy squirm and wriggle till he finally poops. I think this was even affecting his naps. So we'll see over the next week or two if we have any improvement. Why didn't I think of this before you ask? I did, but I didn't want to put in the effort to change my diet so it stayed the same...really then I did this to myself. Stupid, stupid mama...lol

Hopefully we are now on an upswing and he will sleep better, but honestly even if he doesn't this too shall pass and in a year I'll be reading this and wistfully thinking back to the little baby who loved to cuddle in mommy's arms.

My beautiful princess :)

Speaking of growing up without warning me I finally took DD to get her hair cut. It has been driving me crazy! She didn't seem to mind but the constant dangle of so much hair in her face was making me insane. What's worse is she wouldn't let me put it up in any capacity, not to mention fighting me pretty much any time I tried to brush or comb it. For awhile she was terrified to have it cut so it was a losing battle for me. THEN we got her the movie 'Tangled' and one time when she was watching it with DH at the end when Rapunzel's hair gets cut she said 'I want my hair short like that.' Boom, done, I found a place here that came recommended by a friend and only charged $13 for a haircut and brought her in yesterday. She even got to have her hair washed and styled, she was so excited and she behaved SO well! Plus...look at how beautiful and grown up she looks with her short hair!

I love, LOVE the cut and am planning to go again in December to get it trimmed before we head out to my parent's place for Christmas. We'll maintain short hair until she decides she'd like something different. I'm sure one day I won't be able to get into my bathroom because she'll be doing her hair, but right now it's a chore just getting her to wash it! LoL Well I'm off to hang out with my kids. Next topic will more than likely be my new work out regime...that's right this mama is going to lose the extra pounds! I need to start feeling like me again! Until next time...